My beloved A.
I'm writing you now, because I don't know when I'll stop being able to write. Everything is changing so quickly. Speaking is already very difficult and most of the words I pronounce sound unintelligible. Vowels, mostly, have disappeared, turned into a confuse almost monotone sound, a babble, an incomprehensible mumbling. I know it's because of the gills. They started growing yesterday night. I thought it was a little wound just behind the ear and at the beginning couldn't understand how I had it (It didn't hurt at all).
I'm writing you now, because I don't know when I'll stop being able to write. Everything is changing so quickly. Speaking is already very difficult and most of the words I pronounce sound unintelligible. Vowels, mostly, have disappeared, turned into a confuse almost monotone sound, a babble, an incomprehensible mumbling. I know it's because of the gills. They started growing yesterday night. I thought it was a little wound just behind the ear and at the beginning couldn't understand how I had it (It didn't hurt at all).
After the theatre I didn't want to walk under the rain. But you insisted so strongly —«I don't want to take a taxy and participate in polluting this world»— I couldn't help accepting your way. I got upset for a little while: it was raining so badly and I felt you were not at all taking into consideration my desire. It was a long walk —let it flow, Emi, i told myself, let it flow, be like water, my friend....— and by the end of it, I had even started feeling comfortable under the heavy rain, wet to the bones.
I was soaked when I arrived home, and I
went to the bathroom to take a shower. Under the shower I felt
particularly well, at ease (I've possibly never felt like this, and, if I
had, I don't remember it): water was like a caress, and I suddenly had
the strong desire to be in the hammam, or in a warm, transparent sea.
When I left the shower and started drying myself, I suddenly felt a
strong sense of oppression in my chest, something like suffocation or
anxiety, almost bordering on panic. I had to stop. The towel was soaked,
and me too, still. I went back to the shower, regulated the water
temperature and rapidly entered again the fluffy, incredibly pleasant
feeling I experienced before.
I slept on the shower, on a wet cushion.
The morning dawned rainy. I had a tea, and take the bicycle and cycled under the rain. I realised I couldn't pronounce vowels when I said «gwwd mwrnng» to Antonia, at the reception. She looked at me strangely. Switching on the pc I realised that a little membrane has started growing between each finger. It has a very nice colour, between transparent pink and translucent greenish.
I'd like to see you once more, before I start swimming down the river, to reach the sea.
yours, with love.
I slept on the shower, on a wet cushion.
The morning dawned rainy. I had a tea, and take the bicycle and cycled under the rain. I realised I couldn't pronounce vowels when I said «gwwd mwrnng» to Antonia, at the reception. She looked at me strangely. Switching on the pc I realised that a little membrane has started growing between each finger. It has a very nice colour, between transparent pink and translucent greenish.
I'd like to see you once more, before I start swimming down the river, to reach the sea.
yours, with love.
Emi
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